Our friend Cabeza, a semi-psychiatrist, spent a big part of April shrinking the hot head of that tarpon charter captain who, in a fit of rage, trod upon another person’s boat while shouting F-bombs.

The other person, in a fit of fear, blubbered a burst of apologies, possibly but not probably sincere.

Groveling made him look weak, he agreed later, but he thought it a better idea than firing the gun he had on his boat.

Headwind, who watched the victim’s viral video, said that surprised him: “I’ve always thought people who carry guns while fishing want to be attacked so they can shoot someone and spend their lives bragging about it.”

Instead of bullets, the victim fired volleys of bro-bombs: In four minutes and 14 seconds, he called the aggressor “bro” 52 times. I listened and kept score so you wouldn’t have to.

Cabeza thinks that might have been more aggravating than mollifying: “If someone called me bro that many times, I would want to board his boat and slap him silly. I wouldn’t do it, but I would want to. I don’t know about you.”

A lot of us shouted “Me too!” loud enough to rebound between the walls of the Fish or Cut Bait Society’s clubhouse. The shotless confrontation happened on April Fool’s Day. It might have been defendable as just a prank except that the victim was wearing a video camera with the audio on.

That proved nobody was joking.

It happened in the territorial jurisdiction of Punta Gorda, a Florida Gulf (of Mexico) coast town whose name means “Fat Point.” No wonder they say it in Spanish.

The policia there jailed the offender, Capt. Brock Horner, on a charge of felony burglary with assault or battery.

No big deal for him, I guess. Horner is 40 with a record of 13 busts since he was 20. Nothing imprisonable there, but a consistent dossier of bad behavior.

He got out on bail next morning. A week later, Florida FWC charged him with two misdemeanor crimes including our favorite: harassing a fishing-doer.

Isn’t that a wonderful law? Too bad the penalty is only a fine, something like $500. When I am emperor it will be upgraded to a felony with mandatory prison time.

The second misdemeanor is having a recreational registration on a boat that’s used commercially.

Tyro, the new guy, just asked if a misdemeanor means he didn’t mean to do it. Counsel, an overtime parking defense attorney with reliable sources at the courthouse coffee counter, made a call.

“No,” he told Tyro.

FWC police added three “infraction” charges, the kind of stuff a field officer might give someone a break on if that’s all there is.

One is for saltwater charter fishing without the right license. Another charges careless operation of a vessel. The third is improper display of the boat’s registration stickers.

The Coast Guard also was investigating. Piracy?

“I think piracy has to happen on the high seas, not in Charlotte Harbor,” said Counsel, the overtime parking lawyer. He guesses the coasties will suspend or revoke Horner’s captain license for something less severe than piracy but worse than vulgar language.

I asked Counsel if I have to say “allegedly.” He answered no, because millions of people saw the video and heard the audio, posted by the victim, whose name is Gage Towles. He is 22 years old.

“Other than that, a lawyer acquaintance issued a statement for Horner, admitting he was in the wrong. He also said Horner was sorry, although Horner didn’t speak for himself. Believe it if you like.”

Counsel advised me to explain that “burglary” doesn’t only mean breaking into someone else’s house.

Jumping uninvited on someone else’s boat also fits the definition. Threatening the victim is enough to charge assault. Hitting him would be battery.

Cabeza, whose analysis I’ll report next, is informally qualified to practice psychiatry. He was educated for it, passed the state exams and was at the door to the license bureau when deities called him to live as a fishing bum.

Here’s Cabeza’s analysis: “Stark raving crazy! He should have his head examined!”

Counsel advised Cabeza that he can say that here in the court of public opinion.

In other informal courthouses, such as the Internet, verdicts of justifiable homicide were entered preemptively by unappointed jurymen.

Some of those said they would have shot the assailant and the actual victim, Towles, should have. A few others said he shouldn’t. Still others praised him for not losing his head too.

Headwind said if a man in a rage tried boarding his boat, he would swing the stern around and dump him into fishville. “He’d be gulping saltwater,” Headwind added. “Whatever happened next would be his problem, not mine.”

The confrontation was inspired two pre-dawns earlier, on Sunday, when Horton ran his boat speedily through a channel beneath a bridge, dragging wake.

Towles and another fishing-doer, on another boat, were fishing there. They objected. Nothing worse happened than shaken fists and shouted curses.

That was on Sunday. Tuesday in daylight, Horner and Towles encountered one another on the water, apparently by chance. Towles turned on his camera.

Horner cursed Towles for cursing him. Towles told Horner he couldn’t do what he had done, zooming through the bridge while others were fishing there.

Horner replied that he sure could.

Headwind said he scored 16 F-bombs from Horner and nine from Towles. You can find the full video at www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8jvsbf7fVc .

The thing ramifies beyond the confrontation itself. Most of us agree that three other men on Horner’s boat should have intervened. We all denounced them for doing nothing to stop him — all that is necessary for the triumph of evil, as Edmund Burke declared in 1795.

“If I’m on your boat and you’re starting that confrontation, I’m stopping you,” Headwind told me. “You’re not driving over to the other guy’s boat, even if I have to break your throttle hand.”

Cabeza and Counsel said they would have helped Headwind to overpower me. They got me to agree that in such a situation, I would stop them too.

Pretty quickly, the identities of Horner’s three companions spread, inviting denunciations. Two are licensed charter captains, and one of those is also a city firefighter in North Port. His chief posted a statement that his conduct, or non-conduct, would be investigated.

“He isn’t a cop, so he didn’t absolutely have to butt in,” said our cop, Victor Virgil Vernon (Vee) Hickel. “His inaction did put his fire department in a bad light, though.”

The third guy isn’t a charter captain but a video cameraman who was hired to record their day on the water. That one gave a news interview, saying he hadn’t wanted to get involved but wished he had done something more than nothing.

“The best thing for everybody could have done was to keep their big mouths shut and get out of there in opposite directions,” Vee Hickel said. I guess he’s right.

Horner has more to worry about than the loss of his licenses and the possibility of a jail sentence.

The public reaction online was so ugly that he shut down his website and phone.

The other guy, young Towles, went on local television to ask people to quit harassing his enemy.

That was noble, wasn’t it?

While all that was going on, a fishing guide 110 miles away at Chokoloskee was receiving disturbing messages. His name is Brock Wagner.

The way he figured it, people who wanted to menace Brock Horner couldn’t find his website but they found Wagner’s and thought one Brock would do as well as the other.

Capt. Wagner didn’t think so. He responded by posting a notice that we saw on his Facebook page:

“Please help us spread the word. Captain Brock
Wagner Fishing Charters IS NOT the Captain Brock
featured in the negative viral video. We are getting
threats and it needs to stop.”

Feedback: fishingdoer@gmail.com.